When I got engaged, there were certain things I felt we needed to adhere to, in order to have a wedding. For example, I thought it was a given to spend lots of time after the ceremony to take family photographs (it’s not), I thought the bridal photo session needed to be a long time (it doesn’t), I thought we needed an even amount of bridesmaids/groomsmen, I thought we needed to have a sit down meal…and the list goes on. In truth, all you need to get married (in NZ) is:

– A notice of ‘intention to marry’ form.

– Apply for and obtain a marriage licence.

– A marriage celebrant.

– At least two witnesses.

– You must say “I take you………..to be my legal wife/husband” or words to similar effect.

Legal requirements aside, a wedding to me means making promises to the one you love surrounded by your closest family and friends. This alone is more than enough reason to celebrate! Looking back, what really matters to me is:

-celebrating our marriage surrounded by people we love.

-a sense of occasion, themes of relaxed elegance.

-lots of conversations.

-dancing.

-exquiste food.

-lots of laughter.

I love all the other things that make up a wedding style, but for me that is the core of what really matters. If you are engaged and currently planning your wedding, I think it’s so important to write a list of what really matters to you, before you get married! I really wish we had done this, as I don’t think we ever acknowledged what was important to us, it was just a vague idea. We were married in 2008, just before the wedding blog world literally exploded, add to this Pinterest…. I know that there are a lot of confused brides-to-be out there. Writing a list about what really matters to you and what you want to remember about your big day, will really help with making decisions.

So looking at my list, our wedding would have been a little smaller to only invite our closest family and friends. The dress code would be black tie for a sense of occasion (there are so few times in our lives that we get properly dressed up!), and a cocktail reception to encourage lots of conversation. An amazing band and dance floor would be essential to get everyone up and dancing! The food would be served cocktail style, but would be fresh, organic where possible and use only local ingredients. xx

The next part in this series, I’ll be talking about the Venue and how important it is to work with what you have…and also what sort of style/themes I would re-imagine for our wedding day! See Part One of this series on Timelines here.