How The 5 Love Languages Changed My Relationship

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Have you heard about the 5 Love Languages? Prior to reading this book, I’d always assumed everyone expressed love in a pretty similar way. Turns out I was wrong! According to the author, Gary Chapman has identified 5 love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Every person feels uniquely loved in one of these ways.

For example, my love language is definitely words of affirmation. When someone says something positive or kind to me, it can go a long way! This is also how I tend to show my love and appreciation for others. When Sam and I were dating, I discovered this book, and after much convincing from me, he took the test.

Turns out, his love language is Quality Time. So my verbal affirmations don’t have the same impact on him, as they would on me. When I realised this, it was really eye opening! Even though it doesn’t come completely naturally to me, I know that spending quality time with Sam (no phones, no nothing) has more of an impact on him, then a kind word would.

It completely changed my perspective of our relationship, and it’s something we both work on.

What’s your love language (you can take the test here) and is it different from your partner? I’d love to know! Do you think this would make a difference in how you showed your love and appreciation towards each other going forward? xx

Photo of us by Matt & Katie.

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3  Comments

Kimberley Hutton...

Yay I LOVE the 5 love languages! Totally changed my relationship with my husband too, and also with a lot of my family and friends! I am absolutely words of affirmation as well, but Liam is an Acts of Service guy. For ages I had no idea all the things he did were him showing his love for me, and probably didn’t even acknowledge lots of them. And words of affirmation don’t actually come naturally to him at all… so it’s something we are both always trying to work on! I definitely appreciate him and his love for me in so many other ways after knowing more about how he ticks…. Gives such a good insight into other peoples hearts eh :)

katephoto...

It’s so insightful isn’t it Kimberley! Thanks for sharing xx

Ruth Eldridge...

I love the 5 Love Languages book, too. Hands down (pun intended) mine is physical touch :) Even if its just a peck on the forehead, it’s definitely my love language. I would say my beloved’s is Acts of Service. :) Make his favourite dinner or remembering to wash the right basketball uniform… yup, that would be his. Thanks for sharing, Kate :) xxxx


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